…and this is why I drink.

So I’m reading about this woman who’s suing Jerry Seinfeld’s wife for plagiarism.  I can’t really comment on that, because she may be justified.  I don’t know.  But what I can must comment on is that she has mentioned whined in Federal Court papers that her seven year-old daughter was upset by a joke Mr. Seinfeld made on late night TV.  Apparently, he said that people with three names (James Earl Ray, for example) always turn out to be assassins.  Personally, I think it’s kind of funny.

But first off–why was a seven year-old watching late night tv?  Second, how hard is it to upset a seven year-old, really?  And third, what a great lesson for this kid–someone said something you didn’t like because you’re a humorless nutter, so they should give you money.

See, this woman needs to be offended.  Her whining about this tells me that she takes herself entirely too seriously.  And people like that need to be shown that the world isn’t all about them.  To live in a society, we have to get along with other people, and that means finding humor in what can often be a harsh world.  So suck it up, Three Name.  There’s something funny about everyone.

Oh, and the other thing her whining suggests to me?  That her original lawsuit is suspect, and very likely motivated by greed.  Complaining about hurt feelings generally leads to “emotional damage” compensation requests, which is utter crap.  The very most that should ever be paid out for emotional damage compensation would be $350, which would buy a bottle of the 25 year-old Macallan, and the gas to go get it.

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Right, so when this movie was announced there were plenty of people who cried foul because the protagonist was an American kid.  Well, to them I say…well, nothing.  Not worth my time.

Yes, the story is of the “modern kid travels through time for an adventure in a mythical land” variety.  But it does it well.  And honestly, the kid was largely overshadowed by his costars.  Jackie Chan is fantastic as always, and Jet Li’s portrayal of the Monkey King was wonderful.  In fact, the way these two actors interact is what made the movie for me.

Yes, the movie’s in English and the main character is American.  Despite that, it’s surprisingly un-Westernized.  I was constantly struck by how similar to felt to many of the more recent movies to come out of China.

So, in short, just shut up and watch the movie.  It may not be the classic that, say, Once Upon A Time In China is, but it’s a damned fun movie.

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My rant of the day?  Or month, it seems, lately.  Must remedy that.  As I pointed out in a comment, I’m drinking coffee again, and I’m posting again.  Correlation proved proven provened confirmed.  Anyway.  What was I saying?  No, I forgot the rant.  What else do we have?

I’m highly anticipating the new Brothers In Arms game.  Market Garden should make for a dark, nasty  setting for a game.  Though I admit that I’m looking forward to them making a BIA game set during the Battle of the Bulge.  Since the games are based on the 502nd PIR, and the 502nd was a part of the 101st, that means a game set during the Bulge would take place at Bastogne.  Dig that foxhole, son.

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Ha.  I had quite a non-posting streak there, eh?  Impressive, if I may say.  And I say I may.

Nothing much to report at the moment.  Aside from the awesomeness of the new Strong Bad video game, of course.  Hmm, maybe I should be posting later in the day?  I’m way too tired to rant in the morning time.  Even coffee doesn’t really help with that, either.  Though I haven’t made any today.  Maybe I should…

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But better late than never, eh?  The magazine with my novella is now available (as of June 1st).  The Special Summer issue of Flashing Swords magazine is available in both print and .pdf format.  Here’s a link to the Flashing Swords main page.

http://flashingswords.sfreader.com/titlepage.asp

The issue in question is in the upper right corner, with a link to the e-version down the page a bit.  It may seem like I’m trying to hawk my own merchandise here, but really, this is a great issue.  Not even talking about my contribution, either.  FS has gathered a really good bunch of stories.  I’d recommend this one even without my name attached.

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Today’s the 64th anniversary of D-Day.  A lot of people went far above and beyond to make that day a success, so here’s to the amazing people who accomplished that feat, and to the heroes who gave their lives so that they could.

As a side note, listen up First Amendment nuts:  the next time you want to rave about your “rights”, and what’s owed to you, take a trip to France and visit the Normandy American Cemetery and Memorial.  As important as the First Amendment is, and believe me, it’s vital, the only reason you have the “right” to anything is because someone else fought hard to give it to you.  I don’t expect everyone to go fight a war, but the very least we can all do is appreciate what it cost to deliver that gift.

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Okay, a lot of things.  Like Dunkin’ Donuts pulling that ad because some bored mental midgets thought Rachel Ray’s scarf supported terrorism.  No, that’s a rant all to itself.

And stupid, stupid people protesting Bush’s policies at a graduation he was speaking at.  I’m no fan of the guy, but holy freaking god.  A graduation?  Time and place, people.  Time and place.

But no.  What grinds my gears today is all of the inane “reporting” we’re now seeing because of the Sex and the City movie.  I actually just read a news story that was all about how more women than men watched the SatC movie, but more men than women watched the Mixed Martial Arts show.  My dim view of MMA aside, was this an article something that really needed to be written?  Did they need an excuse to give someone a paycheck or something?  Because seriously, I’ll do that job on the cheap.  Call me.  I’m ever so good.  My first article will be about the results of my new study that indicate people enjoy the inflated self esteem that comes with inebriation, but apparently don’t enjoy hangovers.  Hm.  Maybe I could get a government grant for that study.

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Yes, my goal with this one, apparently, was to make the title as incomprehensible as possible.  Ah, well.  On with the show.  This is it.

After somewhat heavy edits (mostly just rearranging sentences to flow better–grammatical Feng Shui, if you will), the story’s pretty much ready to be published.  There may be one more round of edits, as I added some more paragraphs last time through.  

We’re looking at a June 1st publish date here, people.  I’ll post up details on how one can purchase the magazine as soon as I’m made aware of just what they might be.   Other than the date, all I can say is that it’s the special Summer issue of Flashing Swords magazine.  My story got top billing on the cover, which is tremendously fantastic.  As are the illustrations for my story.  I got a preview of them a few days back, and I’m very happy with how they turned out.  This issue also boasts some really good writers, too.  I’m looking forward to it all around.  And with three weeks yet to go, now we play the waiting game.

Aw, the waiting game sucks.  Let’s play Hungry Hungry Hippos.

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So I searched for my name on Google tonight, because it’s a strangely fun exercise.  And I hadn’t done it for a while.  The top return was for an interview I did with Bioware for being one of the winners of their writing contest.

Solid.

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So people are now literally fighting over who gets to pray at what time.  On the very site that the person they’re praying to was buried and resurrected.  The person who preached forgiveness and cooperation amongst mankind, and people are coming to blows over who gets to pray when.

Holy crap.  This would be infinitely sad if it wasn’t one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.  It’s like little children fighting over the swings.

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